Mens Feathers 9 – 0 Abbeydale D

Tipue M A & Gavin B | Calvin B & David W | Simon O & Simon T

Today’s excuse: It was International Simon Sleepy Day

At seven o’clock, Abbeydale’s team of six, whose combined age numbered in double figures, were bouncing around the court and raring to go.  None of them were called Simon.  Meanwhile Tipue and Gavin, promoted to first pair on account of babysitting duties, and Calvin and David, promoted to second pair on account of having their shoes on and being ready to play, were warming up in a less bouncy fashion.  Simon O was still making his way in from the car park and Simon T was concentrating at 100% to remember which boxes to write the names in on the scoresheet.

By half-past seven, both Oakbrook first pairs had seen off the challenge of both Abbeydale first pairs without difficulty and with only a few cries of anguish from Calvin as his attempted cross-net-drop-shot-while-walking-the-other-way didn’t quite come off.  He and David still managed the best score of 21-10 21-14 in the first round of games.  Although the Abbeydale kids will doubtless be streets ahead of us in a few years time, for now height, strength and experience beats perfect footwork, clever racquet skill and fitness.  The Simons were both asleep since it was International Simon Sleepy Day, so sleepwalked onto court for their game, where they came back from a dreamy first-game loss to take it 19-21 21-19 21-14.  Aerohog still airborne but creaking along on one propeller and with the oxygen masks descending from the ceiling.

While Calvin and David beat their first pair 21-12 21-17, the medics checked the Simons for a pulse, and they were confirmed alive and fit to continue.  So with a bit of rapid arm movement sleep, they managed an unconvincing straight-set win against Abbeydale’s youngest pairing.  Gavin had kept warm by training up a young future Oakbrook star in the corridor, and he and Tipue completed the round with an easier win against the pair that had taken the Simons to three games, allowing their opponents to make all the mistakes and the 21-17 21-7 score matching the best result of the night.

Six-nil up, and there was no let-up from either of the top Oakbrook pairs.  Tipue and Gavin took another straight-set win for an evening total of 126-88.  Calvin and David did the same and finished even better with 126-87.  The Simon’s RAM sleep had ended and they went back to a deeper sleep of which the opposition third pair took full advantage, winning the first end and taking a lead in the second.  With a suprising twist, Simon T woke up in the middle of the second end, announced himself warmed up, and started stringing together some reasonable shots, which combined with Simon O’s resiliant sleep play to lead them to a 19-21 21-17 21-11 final game.

So the final score was 9-0, described by Calvin as “very comfortable” but by Simon O as “can I go to bed now please”.  That same phrase was uttered by Simon T’s wife when he appeared in the car park just after ten o’clock having drowsily put all the equipment away at a snail’s pace.